The Love of the Father

Sometimes the person we want to become can turn into an idol in our lives. I often imagine what the future "better version of myself" will look like and forget about the woman I am right now. I pray and ask God to heal me of all my character flaws and to make me whole and all of this is good, but not when I love the version of me that doesn't exist yet more than the person I currently see in the mirror.

You see, learning to be loved by Christ has been just that, a learning experience. Growing up with an emotionally absent dad has made the journey of understanding the love of God complex. When I would approach God in prayer, I would ask Him to "fix" me, and to fix something means that its present state is useless until it is fixed. Is that what I was thinking of myself? "Fixing" requires no intimacy or connection, it's a one-and-done deal. Healing, on the other hand, requires time and full exposure of a wound. Before a doctor can help heal a wound, they need to ask the patient a few questions, such as, where they got injured in order to understand the severity of the problem. They must carefully examine the wound to figure out the best treatment plan to begin the healing process.

In the same way, Jesus wants to look at our wounded places. He does not want us to hide them but instead fully expose them to His love. He is not a God who fixes us He is a God who loves us. He wants to see our weaknesses and love us right where we are, and from that place of deep love flows healing.